If you had a different childhood, a life that wasn't smooth, or you were just stuck somewhere in the middle, does it mean you would become a better person? Or maybe you would just keep sinking deeper, at least, that's what I believe would happen to me if i stayed in this country.
While it is true I have some close friends here, and I would hate to leave them. But I think the people who has something against me or looks down on me is probably much more here. Sour grapes isnt the worst. The worst are people who believes they know alot, people who thinks they know the world.
Flew to Singapore despite our objections, got a citizenship despite our objections, and now forced to do National Service for a country I would NEVER protect, because, this is not where I belong.
Singaporeans, or at least many of them pisses me off so much, they really fucking do, cause they complain and they do nothing, they make stupid comments just because they arent doing the same or as well. Or simply just because they think that they know alot, arrogant bunch of bastards.
I tried so hard to maintain a positive mindset, but everything is making life so hard. I love school, I love my classmates, foreigners are really so much different.
This isnt all, some of them loves to party and concentrates so much on social life, that anyone who does not like these activities are deemed uncool and they talk to them in this manner like they are inferior to them. I am cool with them, I leave them alone, but these guys seriously need to know theres alot more to life. Many of them just dont realise them.
Singaporeans are just too pampered arent they, or at least most of them, life planned out for them, their whole life is just controlled in every sense. Till now, I have only met one, that one person who has to think far beyond their own age like me, all for the sake for surviving. These people here are outcasted it seems, cause the rich stays with the rich as it is everywhere, and people suffering like me are left aside to die. But I will never let that happen, I believe I have the ability to do better than all these idiots.
It isnt fun to try act normal, I do, because I want to be happy, everyone wants to, but I have alot of burdens and obvious doubts about my future, it is true I got a chance to persue my degree, and I am determined to get what I want. But everything is at stake, I dont have a home of my own, neither does my family actually. I am hoping they will go back to HK, cause the life there is much better for us all. I can survive alone, I had, all my life, emotionally, physically.
Its not that I have bad parents, it is just circumstances they brought me to this state. I have doubts, but I have my aims, and I am getting nearer to it. I want to get out of this place, I really do. I have lost so much here in Singapore, youth, time, opportunity, Or maybe I should begin to look at it another way, maybe its all just a test, I am breaking down, but I need to stand strong, cause i'm alone...
